Reasons to leave Taylor st...

Right, that's it: Can everybody stop leaving Taylor St. please?  It's getting ridiculous.  I've come up with a simple checklist of what are acceptable and unacceptable reasons for leaving. Please check and plan the remainder of your unrelentingly-banal life accordingly.  Ta.

The following are acceptable reasons for leaving Taylor St.:

• Death

Though still expect angry phone calls from Michal up to two weeks later, demanding to know why you haven't shown up for work at Canary Wharf.

You've been bitten by a vampire and are now a member of the undead:

Although, just come work at Bank.  You'll never have to worry about seeing the sun, anyway.

A very short list of careers, including:

An astronaut:

 But only for a country with proper space program, none of this "European Space Agency" nonsense.

 

A researcher looking for a cure for a major world disease:

 

Options include cancer, malaria, Swine Flu, and whatever causes people to like Coldplay.

 

A superhero:

Maybe Batman.  Batman would be cool.

The following are NOT acceptable reasons for leaving Taylor St:

Your visa has run out:

 

Come on guys, not good enough.  Two words: "Sham. Marriage."  Enough said...

 

Leaving to open your own coffee shop:

Don't even think about it. Andrew will find you, and he will crush you.  Then make a tasty espresso with your remains.

Leaving to start your career in 'the media', or whatever.

 

Sorry, not good enough.  London has two many hipster-y types as it is.